Been having a lot of vivid, quite disturbing dreams lately. Often they’re quite upsetting and stay with me all day. This one was disturbing in retrospect, but I wasn’t upset in the dream and I was fine when I woke up.

I am sitting in a vet’s waiting room. I’m sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. I’m not alone but I’m not sure exactly who is there – someone familiar to me, I think. A man comes in with his dog. It’s a large-ish dog, indeterminate breed, friendly. It walks over to me and lies down by my side, leaning against my leg. I chat to the dog’s owner, about nothing in particular, absent-mindedly stroking the dog at the same time. I can feel the dog leaning against my leg; it’s comfortable. I look down and notice that half of the dog’s side is missing. Right below where I’m stroking the skin has been cut away, there’s just a big gaping hole in its side. I can see the dog’s heart and lungs through the hole; I can see the heart beating. The dog doesn’t seem distressed or in pain. I’m not upset by the realisation that the dog has been cut open: I just think “oh, that’s what he was at the vet for”.

I go on talking to the dog’s owner. After a while he glances down at his dog, and apologises for the mess he’s making of my dress. I notice then that I’m wearing a long white cotton dress – it’s almost like a very simple wedding dress. Where the dog has been leaning against my leg he’s been bleeding on me. The skirt of the dress is soaked in blood right up to my waist. I’m not upset by this: I tell the man not to worry, I’ll wash it out later, and that he doesn’t need to move his dog. I’m more concerned about disturbing the dog, who seems quite comfortable, than cleaning my dress.

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